“All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church, Who is the beginning, the Firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the Preeminence.
“In all things” means just that. Not in a few things; not in things we simply prefer. But in ALL things. At ALL times. Christ retains an office, position and Purpose for our lives that is not shared: “Solo Christo.” In practical terms, this creates Conflict. Competition for Preeminence. Nowhere is this felt more than in our Relationships... especially our Family.
We’ve heard the colloquialism regarding biblical Priorities: God is First, Family second, and Ministry third. But is it biblical? Yes, in regard to Number One: God. As we “cling to Christ”, we are adopted into a new Family. God is our Father. We are His adopted children. Our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ our siblings. This is not a mere metaphor. Rather, it is a legal, practical and poignant reality. We belong to a new Family...Eternally. But our earthly Relationships are limited in time, Priority, and Purpose. The ties that bind us to Christ are infinitely above and beyond those that tie us to our earthly Family. So what about Numbers 2 and 3? Family and Ministry?
“Ministry” that God has appointed to us is included in His Purposes for us. If Christ is Preeminent, then where do we place the “Ministry” He has for us? Set aside the sequential mantra (“God, Family, Ministry”) for a moment. And let’s reconsider what Jesus said...
“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”
This offends our sensibilities. But only if our “sensibilities” are carnal. The Conflict Christ speaks of are those of our own choosing. Choices that can break a Family bond. Our agreement to Christ’s Preeminence is invalid if not exercised in our Practices. If we place our earthly relationships (Family/friends) in between Christ and Ministry, then we have divorced the very Purpose of our existence: to bring HIM Glory, Honor and Pleasure (Rev 4.11). It would be disingenuous at least, if not unbiblical, to insert “Family” in between Christ and His Purposes (“Ministry”).
Pastor Dennis well understands this. Having graduated from the DSM Bible Institute in 2014, he has been volunteering at the Bible Schools ever since. Two full days per week. For 8+ years. He oversees administration and operations of the Bible School in the Kibera slum. He is one of our longest serving Graduate Volunteers. And perhaps the most unassuming, humble and consistent. Pastor Dennis rarely has asked to be excused. Yet he has every valid excuse to be tardy, absent or unreliable. Afterall, his “Family” has tremendous needs.
His wife Philomena suffers from debilitating rheumatoid arthritis in virtually every joint in her body. She is in chronic pain from head to toe. For 15+ years. She requires constant attention, assistance and medical care. Pastor Dennis is her sole caregiver at home. Although she is not the only one at home. Their daughter Winfred lives with them. Her suffering exceeds that of her elderly mother.
Winfred has brain cancer for 5+ years. She is disabled in every practical way. Housebound and bedridden on a regular basis. She has been relegated to “impending death” status several times. Death, in fact, would be merciful to such a suffering saint. The Family has been plunged into seemingly endless tragedies, trials and turmoil. The needs of the Family are overwhelming. Valid, practical, undeniable needs. Almost exclusively met by Pastor Dennis day in and day out. Is it is his God-given “Purpose” to meet the needs of his loved ones? Without a question, “Yes!” But to the exclusion of Others? “No!”
Pastor Dennis almost never misses volunteering at the Bible School. Some might ask, “Are his Priorities are distorted? Has he made an idol of Serving Others? Is he simply serving to escape his turmoil at home?” Such valid questions need prayerful consideration. But those same implications are often used to justify our own Inaction, rather than Action. To avoid Sacrifice, Cost and Pain...rather than to endure the same for the benefit of Others. Especially those “outside” my Family. It is our natural inclination to use “Family” as an excuse to avoid Ministry to Others. I am more likely to have an imbalance TOWARD my Family, rather than an unbiblical neglect of my Family. And that is precisely what Christ was pinpointing. Do we have the moral courage to prayerfully consider the possibility we have placed our Family “out of order”?
The Key Point is this: we cannot say that we love God above all, that He has Preeminence in “ALL things”...and then continually put His Purposes in Ministering to OTHERS behind our earthly Family. Could the biblical order be: 1st God, 2nd Ministry, and then, 3rd Family? Might our Family needs, more often than we care, need to be submitted and sacrificed, rather than be continually indulged?
Jesus didn’t just say it. He did it. While ministering publicly, His Family was disturbed privately. They sought Him out and confronted Him. What happened next was convicting and confirming...
“While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. Then one said to Him, ‘Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.’ But He answered and said... ‘Who is My mother and who are My brothers?’ And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, ‘Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.’ ”
God’s Purposes in Ministry are not separated from God Himself. He is inextricably bound to His Purposes in ALL mankind. To arbitrarily fix a positional Priority for our earthly Family is presumptuous, if not dangerous. It has an odor of self-interest. It bespeaks of unholy ties that continue to bind us to this earth and this life. Pastor Dennis has not made Ministry an idol. And he does not neglect his Family. He never has in the 10+ years I have known him. What I have seen is his Family’s united commitment to Christ. To be tied and bound to Christ first and foremost. And to consequentially be bound to serve His Purposes in Others. For that, they have paid a great price.
Much like Abraham. Faithfully climbing the great mountain, knowing all along that God was requiring a great sacrifice from him...and his Family. Abraham tied and bound beloved Isaac to the altar of sacrifice. And served God’s Purposes at the greatest cost to his Family. To the point of imminent death.
And through that, blessed countless Others... exactly as God intended.
