First came the headaches. Then the dizziness. Pastor Stephen was increasingly incapacitated. The point came where he had to seek medical help. Real help. Not from the corrupt counterfeit “medical clinics” found in the slums. Clinics with no diagnostic equipment, yet always quick to provide diagnoses. Clinics selling counterfeit “medicines”. Clinics owned by elite doctors who work only in the private hospitals. And have never themselves set a foot in a slum. Pastor Stephen had to get to a real hospital. He went to a local “mission” hospital. Surely, he thought, they would be able to help.

Stephen was diagnosed with a brain tumor. A surgeon was brought in. He seemed to be man of great compassion. Indeed, an angel of sorts. The surgeon agreed to perform the operation “for cost.” Even at that, the dramatically reduced fee was $7,000! For slum dwellers, like Pastor Stephen, it amounted to nearly 6 years of labor. Hard labor.

Moved by their Pastor’s plight, church members, well-wishers and relatives gathered and prayed. Then they gave. Not from their abundance, but from their poverty. Some took their children out of school…and brought the balance. Others gave title deeds to their rural farming plots as collateral with the hospital. Imagine, a “mission” hospital demanding title deeds from the poorest of the poor, to perform a lifesaving operation. It is remarkably commonplace. The contrast could not be more incredulous. Unrestrained Compassion from the impoverished congregation members… Conditional Constraints from the mission hospital; holding back God given gifting, resources, and abundance from those they profess to help.

Remedy and Relief were delayed. A full year later, the money was miraculously raised. That was in 2019. The surgeon graciously agreed to operate for the same fee. The surgery was performed at the mission hospital. It was “a great success”, although the headaches remained. But at least the tumor was gone.

Last year (2023), our Bible teachers noticed a remarkable decline in Pastor Stephen’s grades in the Bible School classes. Stephen was having difficulty seeing the whiteboard. Sitting in the front row, he was squinting. He was leaning ever closer to his bible…mere inches from the page. We sent him off to an eye doctor to get help.

The report was quite disturbing. Pastor Stephen’s impaired vision was due to brain tumor. His optic nerve was being squeezed. The more immediate consequence might be total blindness. If untreated, perhaps death. He needed to have the tumor removed…“immediately!”

We were stunned. But for Pastor Stephen it was uniquely shocking. Afterall, the tumor had been “successfully removed” more than 4 years beforehand. A CT scan was performed, and the report came: the tumor was extremely large. The incriminating Conclusion: the tumor found 4 years earlier had never been removed. Not one bit. By this point, the “Pituitary Macroadema” tumor, now more than 2.2 inches, might well be inoperable. The hospital needed more tests to carefully assess the way forward. But in the interim, he could “pre-book” the operation. It would require a deposit in advance: $6,000! With that in hand, they could fix a “potential” surgery date…“one to three years from now.”

Pastor Stephen was devastated. How could something like that have happened at a “mission” hospital? And how could any doctor do such a thing? Not only had Pastor Stephen been violated, but so had the multitude of poor people who had given of their substance to pay that hospital and doctor four years ago. And now it would be completely impossible to go back to his church and community for additional support. They would think he was doing something corrupt. It was simply too much to process.

That news paled in comparison to the immediate tragedy: due to the delays, Pastor Stephen was now blind . To be born blind in a slum is difficult at best. To become blind at this point was catastrophic: 37 years old, married, with 3 young boys (ages 14, 8 and 6); his job (as a baker) now gone; his dear wife Ruth had to quit her job a year earlier to care for him. The family was not simply poor. They were destitute. Things don’t get much worse…even in the slums.

“I had no where to turn except to God. There was simply no one and nothing we could do to fix this. My greatest burden was knowing my wife and children were hungry. And I was as well. And I could do nothing about any of it.”

We like to have happy endings. We like to rejoice when God parts the Red Seas in our lives. But sometimes He doesn’t. Will we still rejoice? Will still follow hard after Him when the road is narrow, lonely, uphill, and exhausting? Or will we rather become bitter of heart and mind? Feeling we deserve better from God. As the traditional Jewish lament goes…

“God, if this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them!”

Too often we credit ourselves for good things, and push blame onto God for bad things. Many people who have no interest in God whatsoever, suddenly curse Him when all hell breaks loose in their lives. Such blasphemy is not limited to unbelievers. We, as believers, are pleased to express our allegiance, faith, and trust in God when things are going well. But then comes the Catastrophe. Our first instinct is often Anxiety. Anxiety in the heart of a Believer is nothing less than sin . It contradicts all that we say we believe. It directly assaults the very character of the God we profess to be righteous, holy, and good.

And where did Pastor Stephen’s story end? He eventually had the tumor removed…by a god-fearing, gifted missionary doctor from the States. The fact that Stephen survived, that he can speak and walk, and that the tumor was not cancerous are all miracles. And yet, innumerable mountainous struggles remain. Stephen will never work again. His wife cannot work. She is his full-time caregiver. He can attend church, but he cannot pastor his church. It’s all glorious and tragic at the same time. All this could have been avoided years ago. “If only…”

And therein lay the temptation. To be so casually certain that this is a Tragedy. That life should be rainbows and butterflies for God’s children. But as time goes on, my questions are changing. Less I am asking, “WHY, God?!” I’m less inclined to wag my complaining finger at God, as if He should spare me of every Inconvenience…and Injustice.

I’m growing in my Faith in God. Much due to the Christian men and women I have the privilege to watch…as they experience “real life”. Lives chock full of Suffering. Injustice. Pain. Isolation. Grief. Betrayal. Disease. Hunger. Without Relief, Reprieve, or Remedy. And like Pastor Stephen, they don’t anxiously ask “Why?” Rather, set their Face toward Eternity, and fix their Eyes on Jesus.

Faces filled with Suffering… but Eyes of Serenity.

To this day, I see it manifest in Pastor Stephen…following in the steps of the apostle Stephen…

Let our very Countenance reflect Christ… under all Circumstances. The world is watching.